Monday, February 23, 2015

On Turning 30



Thirty.

That magical number where you are supposed to have your shit stuff together. Everything is supposed to fall into place. Career, family, life, you know, EVERYTHING.
Well, my thirtieth birthday is fast approaching and I feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis. I am starting to realize that for the past two years, I have lived in a bubble. I live this quiet life in my little German village. And I was just fine with that until a letter from Social Security reminded me that I did not make any income during 2013 (or 2014). That's when it hit me that for the last two years, according to the government, I haven't been doing anything with my life. Sure, I'm a stay at home mom of two young children. I know this and love this but when I return to the workforce, I will have to explain why I haven't' "worked" in two years (three years by the time we leave here).

That scares the crap out of me and sends me downward spiraling into anxiety wondering what I have to show for the past thirty years of my life. I have a family but no career, no degree (I will get that done though, pinky swear), no income of my own. I just have to keep reminding myself that I live a life that's perfect for me. That works for my family and if that doesn't fit into what society (and my environment) has taught me is acceptable for a thirty year old, then so be it. Anyways, thirty is the new twenty so I still have ten more years to figure things out.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Just Two



I offended Liam today. He asked for a snack and I told him to make sure he shares with this brother. He looked right at me and said, "Everything I ask for is for me and Asher". And he's right. If Liam asks for a toy at the store, you better believe he will ask for one for Asher. If he asks for a snack and Asher wants a piece of his (even though he has his own), you better believe Liam will share. Liam is the perfect big brother. Of course there are times when sharing doesn't come as easily and fighting does but that's completely normal.

When I look at the bond between Liam and Asher, I am amazed. Even though I would love to have baby number three, I wonder if adding another kid in the mix will disrupt what they have going on or maybe another sibling will just add to the love. I don't know but every time I see the boys hugging first thing in the morning and every night before bed, I hope that their bond lasts forever.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Natural Living: Jaye's Natural Hair Journey

2 years, 4 months and 20 days ago, I walked into a barber shop with Will and Liam to have my hair chopped off.



Not a little chop, you know the ones I'm talking about. When your friend says that she chopped off all her hair and shows up with shoulder length hair proclaiming that she's bald...not one of those. I was literally bald. I still can't believe that Will didn't freak out (although he has recently admit that he hated my short hair, no worries though, so did I).

For quite awhile after "big chopping", I didn't know what to do with my hair. It was dry, brittle and extremely shrunken (which is normal for naturally curly hair but mine would get tangled and matted as well). Shortly after cutting my hair, I got braids installed.



I wore those for awhile then started wearing my natural curls. I have made a lot of progress with my hair since then but I've had just as many setbacks. I have dealt with breakage, dryness, single strand knots (where you get knots on the end of individual strands of hair) and postpartum shedding. You name it, I've probably dealt with it during my hair journey and was dealing with it up until a few days ago.




After trying to style my hair a few days ago, I realized that I needed a trim. I bought some hair shears, went to the bathroom and cut about two inches off. At first I was traumatized, I thought that I had royal screwed up. Then I put my products in (I'll go over my every.single.day. hairstyle-the wash 'n go in another post), styled my hair and realized that my hair had been dying for a trim. Will, who never notices my hair, has commented on more than one occasion on how good my hair looks.



So after 2 years, 4 months and 20 days, I have decided to start a healthy hair journey. I definitely want to grow and retain length but I don't want long, unhealthy hair. I'll share my journey over the next year and I hope that it will inspire others to embrace their curls, kinks and coils.

Monday, January 19, 2015

A Better Me in 2015

I know, it's clique but I really do want to accomplish some self-improvement over the next year. 2014 was a good year. It wasn't great...I guess you can call it mediocre. I don't want to look back on 2015 and feel the same way. I always make a list of New Year's Resolutions and looking back, I have rarely kept them...I don't think I truly ever made a complete effort either. So, when I was looking back on the resolutions I made for 2015, I realized that my list was superficial. I sat down and thought about the improvements I would really like to make. I thought about where I wanted to be mentally, physically and spiritually in one year. This is what I ended up with:

1. Meditate daily
2. Exercise at least twice a week
3. Get dressed daily (this may seem like a no-brainer to some but as a stay at home mom who sometimes doesn't leave the house for an entire week, getting dressed was not at the top of my list of priorities)
4. Eat healthy; limit sugars (I have a huge sweet tooth)
5. Stick to a routine (daily and cleaning)
6. Spend at least one hour daily playing with the boys (the way the want) with no distractions
7. Invest in myself
8. Put out positive energy

In the past, I would attempt to make changes and when I thought I would fail, I would just stop. I'm hoping that this year will be different. I realize that these changes won't happen overnight but I also understand that just because I mess up one day, one week or even one month, that doesn't make my resolution/goal a failure. I have an entire year to make changes. I just need to get up and do it.

Do any of you make resolutions/goals? Does it take awhile for your changes to become habits?

Happy (Belated) Holidays!

Hello out there. It has definitely been awhile since I last posted. Things are going great on our end. We enjoyed the holiday season and I must say that this Christmas was one of my best ever. Will has been on leave since Christmas Eve (he goes back to work tomorrow) so we have spent a lot of family time together. Although I have enjoyed having him home, I'm ready to get back into a regular daily routine with the boys especially since Will will be gone for training quite a bit over the next few months.

We managed to sneak in a mini session with What the Focus Photography over the holidays. I planned to send out Christmas cards but that was an epic fail. I figured I'd share some of our pictures here and just plan to send out cards during the year (maybe for Valentine's Day). Anyways, here are a few shots that we took at the Weiden Christmas Market.





Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Ludwigsberg: K├╝rbisausstellung Ludwigsberg (Pumpkin Fest)

Visiting the World's Largest Pumpkin Fest can be checked off our list of things to do in Germany. We ventured out to the Ludwigsberg's Pumpkin Fest earlier last month and saw lots of pumpkins and gourds (and when I say lots, I mean thousands). We also got to see our first real castle, Schloss Ludwigsburg and it's lovely garden. I'd love to go back again without the boys to tour the inside of the castle (the tour is a few hours long).

Don't worry. Asher's coat was taken off and his straps were adjusted before we left the house :)

So were Liam's straps :)












After wandering around the fest for a few hours, we decided to relax in a park across the street. I fell in love with this park. Germany really has spoiled us a bit with space like these.